Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
