would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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