Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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