Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize