if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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