My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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