But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
