I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
