this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
