yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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