It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
