your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
