You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
