I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
