i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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