look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
