bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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