rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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