I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that's an acceptable place to lick
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
