you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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