How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
