so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
