ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
