Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
