According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
