I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
