His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
