I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
