brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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