I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
