it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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