Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
