I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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