So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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