i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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