I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
