We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
