Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
