So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
