Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
