how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
