Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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