if only i could text you this smell
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
