Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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