I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
