Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i permit you to call me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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