you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
