just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
