don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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