see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
