Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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