She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
